How Japan Grew Me

Today I reached 21 years old
I always hate aging. I really do. But I always do self-reflection twice a year. During my birthday, and during the end of the year. To improve myself to be a better woman, a better human, and feeling grateful of what I have received


Looking back, I can't believe the life that I am living right now. It's not perfect, as I still have some big problems to solve, but I'm grateful for many opportunities that I've always wanted since I was child

Anyway, this is a hint of my next make up tutorial for Animonstar Magazine next issue ^^ 

I read Animonstar since I was teen too, never expected that I would fill the content there and work with the team! 

So... Let's start 

My 6 years old self who was watching Sailor Moon, and Doraemon

My mom wanted me to be a model or actress when I was young, so she wanted me to enter school for it. But I cried, I said I didn't want to go because I wanted to watch Sailor Moon. It's my life. I prefer to be a Sailor Moon instead of a model. I love Japan than being a model.. 
Mom said I was stupid, and kept regretting that I didn't follow the path she prepared for her. She's always asking what I can earn from just loving Japan

But in the end, I had opportunity to walk on runway as a model his year. In Japan.. TWICE
For Harajuku Kawaii Matsuri & Marble Wonderland

With blonde hair, like sailor moon wtf lol And it's all caused because I love Japan.. 

My 8 years old self who watching Rurouni Kenshin

I first learned about Samurai and Japanese History through it. I always went home right after school. I didn't really play outside. Because I wanted to watch the anime that started around 3p.m [if I am not mistaken]. This anime also leads me to know about L'Arc~en~Ciel and T.M.Revolution. I also watched other animes by that time, it filled my childhood 

Never I expected that L'Arc~en~Ciel would perform in Indonesia 10 years later, singing their phenomenal song for the anime, 4th Avenue Cafe. I was there, listening to their songs, and watching HYDE live, at the first line 

And what's better to start this 21st Birthday by receiving CD's signed by one of the legends of my childhood, with happy birthday message?

I got CD's signed by him because of my MC Role for AFAID13, T.M.R brought many CD's for the staffs. Danny also got one, so I am not special okay

But I considered it early birthday present for me la. Urm, You know what I mean? Like when you got something good, then you feel that you want to pile it for categorizing it as special events? XD 

So I simply shared it on twitter like but he sent me bday message! 

Many things happened in AFA and seriously he's the kindest artist I've ever met in my whole life. He's so down to earth 

My 10-11 years old self who was watching countless animes at TV7 

Hunter X Hunter, Hikaru no Go, Whistle, Yu Yu Hakusho, Slam Dunk, Captain Tsubasa, Nube Sensei, etc

I always finished my shower as fast as possible so I could watch them leisurely

I collected thousands of mangas with my allowance. I only had Rp 5000 for allowance per day. And each manga is around Rp 8000 - Rp 9000 back then ? 

I only ate cheap foods during break. So I can buy around 10-15 mangas monthly.

My mom hates my hobby. She thinks it's useless to save just to buy mangas

I don't care about starving tummy, all I care is I want to read mangas as much as possible

 I have thousands of mangas now, much more than my make up collection to be honest

My 12 years old self who was busy drawing mangas

Studying and aspiring to be a mangaka at Machiko Manga School. The first and only manga school in Indonesia back then. I saved my allowance and paid the entrance fee on my own. It was about 2-3 million rupiah back then? My allowance is only around Rp 10.000/ day
I had to do this on my own because my mom didn't really support me to be a mangaka

I starved, starved and starved, because I want to study manga, and a step closer with Japan

Everytime my Sensei told me about Japan, my feeling grew stronger. About the onsen, the sushi, maid cafe, shibuya, harajuku, kyoto, snow, sakura, and so on. I need to visit it, one day! 

And now I am about to take off for my 4th Japan Trip! 

My 14 years old self who was bleaching her hair at salon

Grew up into Harajuku Fashion Style. I can't stop looking at people at magazines an internet, with crazy harajuku styles and hair. I want to be like them. I want to be fashionable. But most important is, I want to dress up like that, in Harajuku.. Walking down on the street, and showing off styles altogether with my friends

I started learning how to put eyeliner, how to style hair, and my first circle lens is Blue because I thought I looked cool lol

My first eyeliner is Pixy, I got it second hand from my mom. And my lens was bought at nearest optical store at my home. Now I got sponsored by some local and international top beauty brands and getting at least a little prettier than years ago hahaha 

My 15 years old self who keeps listening to Visual Kei Band uncontrollably

Alice Nine, Vidoll, the Gazette, Miyavi, Malice Mizer, Versailles, GACKT, SID, etc. The musics are totally different. My friends were busy listening to Western Music, and singing english. I mumbled the lyrics which I didn't know along with the song. I didn't remember the lyric that much, I didn't know what the meaning was, all I know was I had so much fun listening to their songs

I aspired to get into this style for years hahaha.. I wanted to have that manly and cool look lol 

Years later, I got a chance to meet with one of my idols, Miyavi, as he's my friend's friend. Got signature and talk a while with him when he had concert in Jakarta last year

These 'teens' era of mine, were like the most shameful era in my life LOL
now I looked back, I was like 'dafuq did I do to my hair and style'
Most of the pictures were from lame digital camera, or phone camera. I didn't have quality DSLR back then. My Visual Kei background made me not very a feminine girl, even until now. I like animal print, skull, chains, and such for my fashion haha.. I became a little more feminine though now

My 17 years old self who discovered the joy of Japanese Make Up

Why I started doing make up, is because of my love toward Japan. Japanese people are very stylish, so I need to put effort as well! I began to learn about gyaru make up. I polished my skill of putting false eyelashes and blush on. My make up and style are always revolved around Japanese Style. And my blog suddenly talks all about beauty stuffs

And now, this blog brings me to a lot of amazing journeys and opportunities which I never expected before. I was studying from internet, from people in internet, and now I also hosted beauty classes and workshops in Indonesia

I can't believe the life that I'm doing now
People only know that I am make up addict, but to be honest I am Japan-addict haha.. 

Remembering old times really makes me think how times have passed so fast

I've always been a money-saver since I was a kid. But maybe it's also because of my mom's discipline for not giving me things that I want very easily

So I work very hard to earn money, and save as much as I can! And pay what I want! 

Back then it was only to buy mangas. It sharpens my mental and determination! 

I am very grateful, to be alive

Today is caused by yesterday

And tomorrow is caused by today

After years of dreaming dreaming dreaming

I finally reached it

I just want to say to my young self, to never stop believing and dreaming about all my dreams back then

I almost fulfilled all my childhood dreams

And what's next for me is of course, finding a bigger dream to pursue!! 

Your goal might be different from mine, or might be the same

I received a lot of messages saying they also want to come to Japan one day

If you can dream, you can do it

Because when you dream, you have determination to do so!

I hope this long rambling post will give at least one person an encouragement to work harder to pursue their goal

Everything goes for a reason 

If I didn't like Sailor Moon, I wouldn't want to watch other animes

If I didn't watch anime, I wouldn't want to be a mangaka

If I didn't want to be a mangaka, I wouldn't want to study at Manga School

If I didn't study at Manga School, my hand skill to draw eyeliner & put make up wouldn't be as skilful as now

If I didn't learn make up, I wouldn't be able to start my blog

If I didn't start my blog, I wouldn't have many opportunities like now

If I didn't learn to save money when I was kid, I wouldn't be able to save money as well for Japan
If I didn't come to Japan, people wouldn't know how much I loved Japan and wouldn't give me opportunities regarding Japan

If I didn't join the contest held by Kawaii.i, I wouldn't be able to do runway and come to Japan many times for something called 'job'
If I didn't become Indonesia Kawaii Leader, I might wouldn't be AFA Host
If I didn't become AFA Host, I wouldn't have more opportunities that would be coming to now from now on
And I wouldn't be able to meet T.M.R and got CD too hahaha 

Now I know that whatever I do now, will lead for something greater in the future

Sooner or later

Never stop believing! 




And because of so many wonderful people who supported me to become what I am today, both old and new friends, business partners, staffs, co-workers, and so on. I am very very grateful
People say I am already good enough, but to be honest I am never satisfied. Once you're satisfied of your career, your appearance, your achievements, then that's the end



Now the biggest task is to finish my uni, I'm last year, but I really need to finish it soon so I can focus on working on this job more. I have so many dreams to pursue and I will never stop believing that I can do it!
You can also do it 


I am, just a normal girl who reads Manga at home.. And playing bubble game on my smartphone
Why can't you?



With this view, I embrace my 21st year old

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

Enough about me

What's your dream?